Have you ever worried that if some knew you, really knew you for who you are, what you like, and what you do, they wouldn't accept or love you? I believe this fear is universal--at least for those who have not spent time asserting their relational worth. We all matter and deserve to be loved.
Everyone wants to be loved fully and completely. Yet, we have that fear that some things make us unworthy or are too shameful to show even in our closest relationships. There are certain aspects about ourselves that we hide from others to keep their love. A couple of examples might be hiding that we have struggled with eating disorders or are romantically interested in people of all genders.
The result of keeping parts of ourselves out of relationships is that we are never truly loved for who we are. We sabotage the one thing that we want most of all out of fear. The above issue is known in Relational Cultural Theory as The Central Relational Paradox, and it is absolutely something we can address in counseling.
If you have ever felt like you or part of you are unlovable or that others could never accept you for your past or who you are, contact me to set up a few counseling sessions to determine if counseling is right for you.
Dr. Jason Patton
